guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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