Dual....:-)
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
