where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
