some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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