You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
