Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
