Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
