You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
