i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
And then he peed in my hair
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