Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
