i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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