I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
