Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
