I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
