If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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