You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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