Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Come share oat with me in your robe
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