the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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