Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
