So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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