You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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