ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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