im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I love you. Go after that dick
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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