There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
