carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
