Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
