That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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