They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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