i think my tv is drunk
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
