It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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