so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
