Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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