Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
