sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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