my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
