Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
