I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize