So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
