I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you win again, gameday.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
