I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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