girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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