There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
