just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize