He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
