So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
