i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
In America we eat man semen.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
