Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'd cum for enchiladas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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