Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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