i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize