I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Me too!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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