we have officially lost it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
