hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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