do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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