After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
