Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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