Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if only i could text you this smell
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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