I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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