Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
