How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
