Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
