just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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