i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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