you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
