walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
