let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
