I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
