I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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