she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we're making bets on your personal life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
