Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
