Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
