yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
