That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
