For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
